Back to Reality...and a Reality Check

Whelp, tomorrow is my first day back at work since my maternity leave started 12 weeks ago. Can't believe it. I have such mixed feelings about the whole thing. I'd love to be home with my girls full time. Being a mom is the best. But, I do like my job and I miss my friends at work and if I'm really honest with myself it will be nice to have some adult interaction. And truthfully, it will probably be good for the girls to have some time away from momma, too.

So, in anticipation of Monday night, this past week was spend stocking the refrigerator and pantry and loading up on diapers and other essentials.

I also created a list of weekly "chores" to be done each day. My goal in creating this list was to hopefully help keep the house clean and stay on top of the laundry by doing a little each day instead of letting the dust and dirty clothes pile up until I can't stand it. We'll see how it works out in the weeks to come.

Lastly, it was time to dig to the back of the closet and pull out the lavender scrubs...gosh I haven't missed this color. (One thing I am grateful for is that my work clothes have drawstring waistbands - seeing as there are still a few baby pounds hanging on to my mid-section!)

Most of all I've been trying to prepare myself mentally for the challenge of returning to the role of working mom. I put a lot of pressure on myself (as I think lots of moms do) to "do it all." I feel this huge burden to have a perfectly cleaned, organized house where everything is in order, laundry clean, folded and put away, the kiddos are clean and dressed in cute outfits with matching shoes and hair accessories, doing educational activities, using perfect manners, sticking to a strict schedule of meal times, play times, nap times, learning times and of course having a healthy and delicious dinner on the table by 6. Oh...and let's not forget the bill paying, weed pulling, flower planting, scrapbooking, exercising and possibly showering that needs to be done, too. Gosh, all of that is so far from the reality of our life!

My goal for returning to work is to remember what's important. I mean really important. Things like quality time with my family, taking care of my girls' basic needs, nurturing my relationship with my husband and taking care of my own physical, emotional and spiritual needs so that I can be a happy, healthy mom and wife.

My own mom spoke into my life recently in a powerful way. She does it a lot, but this has really stuck with me. I was recently venting to her about the stress I was feeling to get my house spotlessly cleaned and a picture perfect meal on the table for some visitors. In her wisdom, my mom said, "Jolene, the three most important people in your life live in your home the way it is right now. If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for anyone who may walk in your front door." So true. Thanks, mom.

I'm not sure I'll ever be ever to totally let go of these expectations I put on myself. I just feel better when my house is clean, the laundry is done, meals are prepared and kiddos are having fun. I hope, though, that I can stay focused on what's really important and let the little things go. We'll see how it goes. Prayers and good thoughts will definitely be appreciated in the days ahead as we adjust to our new routine.